Tedsidillas

These quesadillas -- I use the term loosely (inaccurately?), since they contain no cheese -- consist of tortillas gently simmered in butter and loaded with cinnamon and sugar. I'm calling them "Tedsidillas" in honor of my younger brother Ted and his deep, abiding love for putting cinnamon and sugar on things.

In fact, many years ago I was the one who actually first showed Ted how to put cinnamon and sugar on things: in this case, toast. The lesson led to a complete revolution in Ted's lifestyle. Hitherto, when it came to the satisfaction of his sweet-tooth, he had been forced to solicit the intercession of others, whether because it was a matter of purchasing some sweet comestible or baking it from scratch, both tasks which young Ted was incapable of performing for himself.

Now, however, Ted had only to depend on his own labor: the necessary steps for making cinnamon-and-sugar toast -- toast the bread, butter it up, sugar it up, cinnamon it up -- were well within the scope of his powers, as feeble as they were. (Unfortunately, the task of cleaning up the obvious mess of cinnamon and sugar all over the kitchen, or even the simple task of resealing the bread afterwards, apparently exceeded Ted's powers).

Just as having a car opens up a new world of self-determination for the teenager, who is now free to come and go when and where she pleases, so Ted was now capable of determining in large part his diet, a responsibility he discharged with disastrous consequences.

When some person A applies an excessive amount of some condiment x to some foodstuff y, we are in the habit of joking, "Hey A, why don't you have some y with your x?" In the Parker household, we had our own version of this humorous reversal. Often we would say to Ted, "Hey Ted, your limbs are wasting away, and your eyes are become sunken portals of malnourishment. Your body is literally dying for want of the life-giving nutrients it needs to repair itself. Why don't you have some basic sustenance with your cinnamon and sugar?"

Recipe: Cinnamon + sugar + tortillas (+ butter).
Report: These were easily the best quesadillas I have ever had. I mean, how can you beat cinnamon and sugar? These two things are the most powerful ingredients at our disposal, and the rest of the recipe is just a vehicle for them. Absolutely delicious. 15/20 (remember that 5/20 is average-tasting).

Invidious Quesadillas

The word 'invidious' comes from the Latin invideo, which means to envy or begrudge. The Latin verb is interesting to me precisely because it means more than just envy, although this indeed is its primary meaning. It means something like to cast the evil eye, to regard something with such negativity and ill-will as to transform the very passivity of perception into the activity of a curse, to lave the innocent object of regard in the poisonous apprehension which oozes from the glance of the basilisks that nest in the secret cockles of the heart.

Anyway, the reason I'm calling these quesadillas invidious is because I've always felt that black-eyed peas are watching me.

Recipe: black-eyed peas + tortilla (+ olive oil). I highly urge you to add cheese to this recipe. I didn't have any cheese at the time (HUGE OVERSIGHT).



Report: Without cheese, this is basically just black-eyed peas in a tortilla. Nevertheless, it was pretty good, but not great. 7/20.

Eggsadillas x 3

A few days ago I made an eggsadilla for the first time. This time I decided to "step it up a bit," as the famous TV-chef always says.

Recipe: (sharp cheddar) cheese + eggs + tortilla (+ olive oil). Cook things in this order: egg, tortilla+cheese, egg, tortilla+cheese, egg, tortilla+cheese. When each straight quesadilla is done, take it off the griddle and drop the already-prepared egg inside.


Report: Simply stunning. These eggsadillas were absolutely amazing. Legendary, legendary eggsadillas. The secret is putting only one egg in each quesadilla (I did two last time). When the proportions fall into place, then the clouds yawn to reveal the face of God, who smiles upon the quesadillas of man. 11/20.

Eggsadilla

It was breakfast-time, and yet I felt like eating a quesadilla. What to do? I know -- I'll make an Eggsadilla!

Recipe: (sharp Cheddar) + tortilla + egg (+ olive oil).


Report: Delicious. 9/20 (where 5/20 is the new 5/10).

Basicadillas

For my first round of quesadillas, I decided to keep things simple and go with the "Basicadilla." Plus, I didn't have any other ingredients beyond cheese and black beans.

Recipe: (Sharp cheddar) cheese + black beans + tortilla (+ olive oil). Cook the beans separately, and then add them to the quesadilla last, off-griddle. Peas and carrots provide a tasty side-dish.



Report: Delicious and easy-to-make. 8/20 (where 5/20 means what you would expect 5/10 to mean).